Autobiographical Essay #3
Thinking back I can remember clearly when a schooled literacy activity did not seem like a friend to me. I was in the ninth grade and my English teacher, Mrs. Duvall, was the meanest, uncaring, most horrible teacher I ever had. She had a way of making a person feel stupid and she was unapproachable in regards to questions about the grades she gave on assignments.
The experience I had with her was a sense of dread every day I entered the classroom, she wasn’t violent but she might as well have been. I’d get knots in my stomach because I was so afraid of her. Back then we had to use typewriters and mine at home was the old fashioned kind, no correcting tape so it was either re-type or use liquid paper. I remember being so very careful as I typed my essay and I had done tons of research. I’d never had a C in English until this class. It’s all she ever gave me. So, you can imagine how I felt when I poured my blood, sweat, and tears into this paper and again another C. I felt like a failure and I wanted to cry. The marks on the paper did not validate the grade I received. After that I stopped trying so hard and all the papers were the same one after another C. It was the first time I received a C in one of my classes.
The experience left me feeling unsure of myself and my intelligence. The repercussions for me were that my writing would never be good enough, no matter how hard I tried, so why bother? Later that year a friend of mine who was highly intelligent with a photographic memory got tired of receiving a grade of C when he knew he had done A work and he stood up in class and let her have it, he actually made her cry, but she didn’t change the grade and my friend was disciplined.
I realize that one teacher had an impact on me and made me feel as if my thoughts were worthless and merely average. I am still very unsure of my writing ability and struggle with confidence in my college work, I feel as if it is never “good enough” even though I have been successful in my classes. But the treatment I received has made me realize that I will NEVER be that kind of a teacher and ALWAYS find something positive to say about each paper my students write.
Thinking back I can remember clearly when a schooled literacy activity did not seem like a friend to me. I was in the ninth grade and my English teacher, Mrs. Duvall, was the meanest, uncaring, most horrible teacher I ever had. She had a way of making a person feel stupid and she was unapproachable in regards to questions about the grades she gave on assignments.
The experience I had with her was a sense of dread every day I entered the classroom, she wasn’t violent but she might as well have been. I’d get knots in my stomach because I was so afraid of her. Back then we had to use typewriters and mine at home was the old fashioned kind, no correcting tape so it was either re-type or use liquid paper. I remember being so very careful as I typed my essay and I had done tons of research. I’d never had a C in English until this class. It’s all she ever gave me. So, you can imagine how I felt when I poured my blood, sweat, and tears into this paper and again another C. I felt like a failure and I wanted to cry. The marks on the paper did not validate the grade I received. After that I stopped trying so hard and all the papers were the same one after another C. It was the first time I received a C in one of my classes.
The experience left me feeling unsure of myself and my intelligence. The repercussions for me were that my writing would never be good enough, no matter how hard I tried, so why bother? Later that year a friend of mine who was highly intelligent with a photographic memory got tired of receiving a grade of C when he knew he had done A work and he stood up in class and let her have it, he actually made her cry, but she didn’t change the grade and my friend was disciplined.
I realize that one teacher had an impact on me and made me feel as if my thoughts were worthless and merely average. I am still very unsure of my writing ability and struggle with confidence in my college work, I feel as if it is never “good enough” even though I have been successful in my classes. But the treatment I received has made me realize that I will NEVER be that kind of a teacher and ALWAYS find something positive to say about each paper my students write.
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